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Slayer: Christ illusion

11/12/08 || Euthanatos

So today I’m listening to Slayer’s “Diabolous In Musica” simply because I had never bothered to. I had heard a few songs that were shit, everyone said it was shit, so I didn’t think I’d need to actually listen to it. Well, the fact is, I got curious, so I went and downloaded it to give it a listen. I also become curious to see if anyone had reviewed it. Surprisingly, although GD has a lot of Slayer albums in the class 666 section, there is only one review in the reviews section, which is for “God Hates Us All”. See, that won’t fly with me at all. Slayer is the greatest band ever. The greatest band there will ever be. Yes, I’m aware Lord K thinks TPH is light years ahead of anyone else, but well, the man is troubled.

So I’m going to review Slayer’s latest, “Christ Illusion” because although it got some attention in GD’s Audio Autopsy of September 2006, it never got a proper review. And that’s a god damn shame. By the way, I would like to take this moment to take a piss inside the collective mouths of everyone that participated in that AA, because they all said it sucked. It fucking doesn’t. It’s amazing. I’m going out on a limb here and be a bold motherfucker; “Christ Illusion” is the best Slayer album since “Seasons in the Abyss”. Yes, it’s better than “Divine Intervention”. Fuck Paul Bostaph and fuck Statik while I’m at it as well.

Disclaimer: I may get fired after this review. I’m stepping on everyone’s toes here. Well, Slayer does that to people. They are the best band ever. Did I say that already? No matter, it’s always important.

“Christ Illusion”, then, what’s the big deal? For starters, it’s the return of Dave Fucking Lombardo, the original drummer for Slayer and the drum-beast. Dave is not the most technical drummer in the metal world, but he’s one of the most gifted nevertheless. The man makes it part of the song-writing and song-structures, not just mindless whacking. Also, this marks a much better production than “God Hates Us All”, particularly on the vocals. While Araya sounded like he was inside a well, yelling into a megaphone in that album, in “Christ Illusion” he sounds just like in “Seasons”, “Undisputed Attitude” and “Divine Intervention”, and that’s a good thing.

Now, the first three songs are absolutely fucking killer, particularly the first one, “Flesh Storm”. They are old-school Slayer songs, whether you want to admit it or not. “Eyes of the Insane” comes next and, true, I’ve actually grown to like it after many listens, but it’s one of the worst songs on the album. Actually, there are only two songs which aren’t good here; that one and “Catatonic”. They’re reminiscent of the past two Slayer albums, they’re slow, boring. The rest of the tracks on the album go from fucking excellent, “Jihad”, “Cult”, “Consfearacy”, to good/decent, “Supremist” and “Black Serenade”.

So there you have it. No, it’s not as good as “Reign in Blood”, nothing will ever be, it’s not “Hell Awaits” or “Show No Mercy”, but it might be on par with “Seasons”. The point is, it’s fucking Slayer, and they’re back in thrash metal style and mighty as fucking ever, and you will bow down to them, or I’ll make you sit in the corner and listen to Nirvana.

Oh yeah, “Diabulous in Musica” really is bad. Like, atrociously bad.

The cover: The original cover, meaning the non-puritanical-fuck-you-America cover is fucking amazing; a deadbeat, strung-out Christ. Yes. Yes.

8 plaaaay Slaaaaaayer shouts out of 10.

Information
Released: 2006
Label: American Recordings
Website: www.slayer.net
Band
Tom Araya: bass, vocals
Jeff Hanneman: guitars
Kerry King: guitars
Dave Lombardo: drums

Tracklist
01. Flesh Storm
02. Catalyst
03. Skeleton Christ
04. Eyes of the Insane
05. Jihad
06. Consfearacy
07. Catatonic
08. Black Serenade
09. Cult
10. Supremist

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